2013 Year in Review

2013 Year in Review:

Sweet Fanny Pants

In January, Aaron and I sadly laid our sweet old Fanny Pants to rest. It was a hard time for all of us and not a single day goes by where I do not miss her and start to tear up when I think about the life we shared together.

February was pretty low-key. I had the opportunity to do a few private coaching calls with Kathy Kawalec, which provided some much needed personal reflection and direction that helped me push through some struggles I was having.

In March, together with Ms. Holly Lewis, I co-founded the Force Free Trainers of Wisconsin; an initiative to help bring together other like-minded, force free animal trainers throughout the state. We started with just over 10 members and tripled in size by the end of 2013.

I passed my birch ORT and behaved like
a gentleman in public!

Right around the corner in April was another significant event for Oscar and I. His first official Nose Work test - an ORT (odor recognition test). The day was awesome - he behaved so well and made me so proud. Oh, and he found the correct box in 18 seconds, which was a land speed record for him :)

Not Photoshopped - that is ME with Kathy Sdao!!

In May I had the pleasure of attending a 2-day Kathy Sdao seminar. It was AMAZING and inspirational. Kathy is such an invigorating presenter and an absolutely fabulous trainer!

WEE!!!

June led to some serious fun for Oscar - he got to go lure coursing - which he LOVE, LOVE, LOVES!!

Aaron and I took a much needed vacation in July, which meant Oscar got to spend some 1-on-1 time with his two favorite people, Shana and Julianna! Having not one, but two wonderful ladies be able to care for him while we are away is wonderful!

Don't we make a cute couple?

In August my very dear friend Kristin came back from a year away...which meant one thing for Oscar - he would have a new girlfriend, Laika Bear! He loves Laika and watching the two of them play is oh-so-therapeutic!

September was pretty ho-hum...steady with training and a few more girlfriend visits for Oscar Handsome Pants.

Learning nosey dog skills
from the uber awesome
Jeff McMahon.

October was a very busy month. I embarked on a 13-week long e-course to become a licensed presenter of the Family Paws Parent Education Programs (Dogs & Storks and Dog & Baby Connection). Who knew dog and baby/toddler safety would be so much fun to learn?! Oscar and I had the opportunity to do a private nose work training session with Jeff McMahon - that was WAAAY fun! I also got together with a good friend and colleague, Cheri, and her pup, Bagley, for a much needed doggy walk.  And we had a house guest stay with us for about 2-weeks who, thankfully, loves dogs and enjoyed spending time with Oscar :)

November was another steady month of teaching and training with Oscar. Oh, and Oscar turned 4! Where has the time gone? Seriously, it seems like just yesterday we brought the little stinker home!!

Capping off the year, in December, Oscar and I were able to have another nose work session with Jeff and I graduated from the Family Paws program. The year has been full of excellent learning opportunities and I cannot wait to see what 2014 brings!

A Farewell to Ms. Fanny

~ Farwell, my sweet Ms. Fanny ~

It's been shortly over a week since Aaron and I sent Fanny to the rainbow bridge. Though it was a tough decision on all levels, it was clear that she was suffering over the weekend. Although the current winter has been quite mild, a godsend for Fanny's ailing body, a recent cold snap, coupled with freezing rain ended up being too much for her to cope with. In the final 48 hours of her physical existence with us, she struggled to stand up outside...falling to her belly on a several occasions.  It broke my heart to watch her in such a state because I knew she was trying so hard to fight her failing body.

~ Fanny on one of our camping trips in Door County ~

 When I arrived home from work last Monday evening, there she was, laying on her bed - exactly where Aaron had left her 5 hours earlier when he left for work. She could barely lift her head as she opened her eyes to greet me. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, she struggled to keep her eyes open and as I quickly came to her side she gave out a great sigh of relief. I knew it was time. She was ready to go onto the next part of her life.

As tears began to pool in my eyes, I made the call to the vet...telling them that it was time for us to let our sweet Fanny's body go and that we needed to honor her request tonight; it could not wait until the next morning. I called Aaron and told him that when he got home from work we needed to do this act of love. Shortly thereafter, Aaron arrived home and we both consoled Fanny and promised her that soon she would be happy and running pain-free. Her lungs would be free and clear and her back legs would have the strength and abundance of a puppy. With a great sigh, and one last request for an eye rub, she agreed and asked, "Well, let's get goin' then!"

~ Fanny's favorite activity (besides eating!)
was going for car rides ~

Having never experienced the loss of a close pet before, I knew the evening's events would be difficult. Aaron and I packed a full Kleenex box, Fanny's blanket and got Oscar situated. We had been preparing for this inevitable day for a few months, still there was a huge flash of reality when we were going through the motions of getting her ready for her last breathing car ride. Upon arrival to the vet's office, they welcomed us into our private room, where they had already set out a thick warm blanket for Fanny to rest on. We laid her down, never once ceasing to be with her...Aaron rubbed her ears and eyes and I quietly beamed healing energy to her as I steadily placed my hands on her rear end.  Soon, our sweet girl would be at rest. The tech administered a sedative to help Fanny relax before the procedure and gave us a few minutes alone before the doctor came in. They prepped the injection site and together, we all told Fanny how wonderful she was and how her life was only going to get better...a new body will be born and she will run wild and free until we see her again. Without hesitation, she went quietly and peacefully to her final rest.

~ "Is he really staying?"~

We had made prearrangement's to bring her home the evening of the procedure to help Oscar - and us, quite frankly - cope with the event. Just like he always has, Oscar went over and sniffed her body... concentrating on her sweet front paws and her ears. We quietly spoke to the two of them as they said their good-byes and Oscar finally got his wish...for Fanny to allow him to lay by her. It was a sweet moment between the two. The following morning, we returned Fanny to have her body cremated.


So as we wait for Fanny to return home to us, I would like to take this opportunity to reflect on how much she brought to my life over the past 10 years.

To my dear, sweet Fanny,  

You were my first dog. The memories I have of the first day we met are some of the happiest moments in my life. After 22 years of begging my parents for a dog - I finally went out and got one myself! Fanny, you were simply stunning...a beautiful White Shepherd girl...all alone in your adoption room. I knew you would bring great joy to my life as I signed the application papers. I didn't care about the 'negatives' on your intake form - they didn't scare me - although you certainly fulfilled them as some of my friends would soon find out. 

You taught me that kangaroo tails aren't reserved for kangaroos - you had a fabulous tail and carried it well...on multiple occasions hitting it on something that made it go limp. You taught me that you would gladly eat any and all food that was offered to you - even those that were for my anniversary dinner with Aaron. You taught me that you are smarter (and stronger) than most humans - I will never forget the time when you moved Chris' entertainment center away from the wall to puke back there. You taught me that you could, in fact, be trusted around anyone - it just took some time, love and lots of hot dogs for some of those scary men to be OK. You taught me that I couldn't live a day without finding white dog hair everywhere - admittedly  I would miss it if it weren't around.  You taught me that finding a man who really loves dog is a hard thing - but I found him and will never let him go. You taught me that I had to be careful when I was preparing your food b/c you have secret ninja skills and could sneak up on me nearly tripping me on multiple occasions. You taught me to never give up on anything, and make adjustments along the way - I regret those days when I didn't know any better and used a prong collar on you, but it afforded me the opportunity for ultimate growth into the positive training world and I have never looked back since. You taught me that you were always there with me - your timely "drive by" nose bumps at night are sincerely missed. You taught me about unconditional love - I never once regret staying home on a Friday night to be with you because I know appreciated it, even though I got shit from a lot of my "friends" for it. Fanny, you were a wonderful companion. You put up with your little brother and set a wonderful example for your breed. Your presence will be missed by all that knew you...but the memories you have given will always be there.

Until we meet again, my dear, run wild and free - and jump on a counter or two, especially if there's a steak up there in the sink. ~ Your proud Momma, Laura ~

~ The ultimate lounger in her golden years ~

2012 in Review

Another year has flown by in the blink of an eye and, 2012, you were another year to remember. You gave many of us new challenges, new victories and a few failures. As I look back on my review from last year, I am grateful for so many things and am proud to say that I lived up to most of the goals I set for myself and my family, both skin and fur.

So, let's begin...here's the year 2012 in review...

To my loving husband...
You never cease to amaze me with your kindness. Not only to me, but the dogs and almost everyone in your life (and I know your Grandmother does love you, even though she can be very nasty). Your patience is unmatched and your tolerance is that of a saint. I love you more each day and know that between all of the "adult" stuff we deal with, my love for you grows with each pass of the clock hand. I look forward to growing old with you and will keep my promise that our next dog will not be a GSD :)

To my dogs...

First, and foremost, my dear, sweet Fanny. We almost lost you in May and many tears were shed during your hospital stay. It forced me to stop my life and focus on taking care of you - something that, admittedly, had been put behind Oscar as we were working hard on his behavior "problems." I am sorry for putting you second so many times in the past few years. Aaron and I took off of work while you were hospitalized because we couldn't be any other place than with you in those moments. I knew when that beautiful Spring thunderstorm rolled into the sky the afternoon we were to bring you home, you were not ready to leave your physical life with us just yet. You still had dignity and fight left in you. Aaron and I love you and - while it drives us crazy how you can sneak up on us and near trip us every time we prepare one of your meals - we want you to stay around for as long as you want to bless us with your presence.

Next, my silly, sweet Oscar. We had quite the year. I vowed to stop bringing trainers over to help me figure out what was "wrong" with you and I'm proud to say that I kept that promise. I did, however, take you to meet a wonderful woman, Kathy Kawalec, but I promised you a bit of fun (sheep!).  You have grown so much in the past year and I feel that our relationship can only get stronger. I'm happy that you have felt comfortable enough to hop up into bed with Aaron and I each night and are learning the fine art of comfortable relaxation on a warm, shared bed. I'm grateful that you have remained healthy this year and have filled out into your stud muffin body :)  You teach me so much and each day with you is an adventure. Never stop wagging your tail, my sweet little man.

To the "Dog Nerd Community"...
This year was a lot of fun and I had a lot of support along the way. First, to Eric...my dog boss. Becoming part of the BehaviorWorks family has been wonderful. Eric, you have allowed me to grow as an individual and as a dog trainer. Thank you for listening to all of my crazy ranting and receiving my emails :)  To Kathy Kawalec, meeting and working with you has been amazing. Even though we've only been together twice, your kindness and honesty has spoken volumes to the way that I want to be with everyone in my life. Thank you, Tresa Laferty, for hosting Kathy at your fabulous home and opening the invitation to those, like me, who are seeking a deeper connection with those in their life. To Kathy Sdao, an infinite "Thank You" for writing and publishing your book Plenty in Life is Free. Your words throughout the pages had me smiling and wanting to be more to every dog in my life. To Dee Wilsuz, a challenge for you. We need to get together in 2013. If for nothing else, to drink a bunch of margaritas and talk about dogs.  To Monica Segal, thank you, again, for supporting the entire Holder family. Your dedication, passion and humor are second to none and I wish that more people get the opportunity to get to know you and see that you are an amazing woman. To Ms. Kathy Hatch, I am thankful our paths connected in 2012. You have helped and supported me the most. Oscar and I joined your wonderful NoseWork classes and are having a blast, but what I am getting our of your classes far surpasses the fun sniffing we are doing.

Professionally speaking, I am most proud of passing my CPDT-KA exam this year. It was a long couple weeks of studying - followed by another stretch of time while I waited for the test results. (Eric - if you are reading this, you still owe me a beer!).

My wishes and goals for 2013...
First, and foremost, I wish that all of my family members stay happy and healthy this year. There were a lot of uncertainties in 2012 for some of my close family members and may this year bring you clarity and security.

To my husband, I wish for a year of challenges, but one with more rewards. I'm already looking forward to our trip in July where we can enjoy some food, wine and good company. You are my best friend and I don't want to share the world with anyone else. We will continue to grow together and I only see great things for us.

To Ms. Fanny, the fighter, what I wish the most is that this winter not be too harsh on your aging body. Wherever 2013 takes you, Aaron and I will be at your side, supporting you all the way.  Lots of warm beds,  delicious food, and on-demand belly and eye rubs for you, my sweet girl.

To Mr. Oscar, the ding dong, I wish you happiness mixed with a bit more learning. I vow to keep showing you that the world is not as scary as it may seem and that people actually like you when you aren't yelling at them :) My goal for the two of us is to get out there and pass the ORT birch test. That's it. If you want to try a NW trial, cool, if not - no biggie, I promise :) Lots of "butt flosses," Frisbee games and maybe even a few lure coursing dates for you, my silly boy.

To the other important folks in my life. May you have a challenging and fair 2013 that affords you the opportunity for personal, professional and financial growth. I wish that those around you be happy, safe and healthy and that you get to do something that you love every day.  Never stop learning.

To myself. I challenge you to stop and smell the roses every once and a while. The emails can wait and the dog nerd books will be on the book shelf...they won't walk off on their own. Be with your family and when you are, be as committed as you can be while you are with them. Go someplace new, fun and exciting with Aaron and explore like an 8-year old with no reservations....just breathe, love and live it up.

Here's to a great year!  Happy 2013!

Yay for Poop!

It has been a blissful several months (in fact, almost a year I think) that I have enjoyed picking up Oscar's wonderful poops. On the Bristol Stool Chart (pictured above), I would say he is in the "Sweet Spot" with a Type 3-1/2. Perfect, beautiful poops. Not to soft, not to hard. Simply wonderful.

Until this week.

Something that the Dog God only knows about has set Oscar's bowels into a tizzy.

Shame on me for almost forgetting what it was like to have a dog with a sensitive GI tract. Dare I even admit that I have not felt the need to look stare at Oscar's rear end every time he squats for a long, long time. I haven't needed to. With the ridiculous help of Monica Segal, we got Oscar to the point where he was wonderfully healthy with beautiful poops.

Just goes to show you that getting comfortable in routine - whatever that routine may be - often comes back to bite oneself in the behind.

Oscar has pooped 6 times today. I repeat 6 times. While I almost gasped in horror after my husband sent me the "Puke and poop in the kennel" text during lunch today, I almost started crying when he sent me the "He pooped outside" about 10 minutes later, then the "He pooped again, that's #6" messages. I put my head in my hands and prayed that whatever it is that was making my precious Oscar flail at the rump would quickly subside b/c, seriously, I don't know how much more Aaron and I can take. These GSD's are driving us mad. They are wonderful in so many ways and when it rains, it pours - on both ends  of the spectrum...both good and bad. The constant swinging of the pendulum has been steady since May, yet I remind myself that things could be much worse. Fanny could have left us in May, Oscar could still be a skinny-bone boy.

My dogs teach me much more than I ask for...and sometimes I wish they would just shut up. For now, I will try to focus on the good...the many months of fabulous poop from Oscar and the rebound Fanny has made form yet another bout of aspiration pneumonia. I'm grateful that each of them are in my life and that Aaron and I both can tolerate cleaning up more bodily fluids than one person should have to experience in a lifetime.  I leave you with this statement...something you shouldn't take for granted and a phrase that would make an excellent bumper sticker..."Yay for Poop!"

Lettin' Dogs Be Dogs

This past weekend was all about hanging out as much as possible.  Between crazy work schedules, visiting relatives from out of town and leaving town for our own vacation, Aaron and I did our best to spend as much time as possible outdoors just hanging out.  Of course mother nature has been doing her finest job of throwing heat at us and saving all precipitation for other areas of the world, but that didn't stop us from getting outside and enjoying the weather. 

Oscar and Fanny doing whatever they want.

Oscar has been maturing quite a lot the past couple of months.  I never thought I would see the day where he voluntarily laid down outside, but he has added the fine art of lounging into his vocabulary.  Of course as soon as someone gets up to move, he's ready to play ball...or when he hears something suspicious on the other side of our fence, he just simply cannot sit still and let things pass.  This world was made for his investigation!!  

Fanny has long ago perfected the art of laying low and enjoying the cool, damp shady areas of our yard.  She's a master at sniffing out her spot to potty, then b-lining it for one of her favorite spots.  In her fine age she isn't as tolerant of the heat as she used to be, so when we get up off our butts to do something in the yard, she slowly gets up and looks at us hoping we will go inside...to the nice, cool A/C house.  We, of course, let her in at her polite request. 

I enjoy these moments of lounging...just letting everybody be what they want to be.  Oscar loves the new sod area of our lawn and lays down on it with a big thud. Naturally, he has a toy nearby - if not in his mouth - and will sporadically fling himself onto his back with such gusto as he air bats at the toy between his teeth.  It's a sight that makes me smile with delight.  Fanny watches from a far thinking to herself, "Doesn't he know that is such a waste of energy?  What is wrong with him?"  

The summer days are just beginning and I enjoy being with the pups outdoors, just doing what we do...enjoying each others company and lettin' the dogs just be dogs. 

Positive Encounters of the Same Kind

Over the past week I have had two incidents while out walking with each of my pups, respectively, that have left a HUGE smile on my face. These were moments where I was observant of others around me.  Watching what they were doing (or not doing, in incident #2) with their dog.

Incident #1
Tuesday, early morning.
Laura and Fanny's morning walk.
I was out walking with Ms. Fanny and saw up ahead the "The Doodle Jogger" coming down the street toward us.  (Aaron and I have nicknames for certain dog/human teams in our neighborhood that are memorable...both for good and bad "stuff."  This is one of the "good" people.)  The Doodle Jogger was on her morning jog and has always been respectful of the space around other people...whether they have dogs or not...and often times moves completely off the sidewalk and into the street or even to the other sidewalk.  Tuesday morning was no exception.  Fanny always notices The Doodle Jogger and perks up her head at the 4-legged crew member.  They've never had an exchange of words and, admittedly, the doodle has very lovely, non-confrontational body language.  The one thing I noticed this particular morning as I was watching them, was that right after the Doodle team passed us the human quietly said, "Good dog, (insert name here)" and pulled out a tasty treat from her pocket and  delivered it to her trusty, furry companion.  I smiled...ear-to-ear...at this exchange of simple, concise and beautiful communication.  The Doodle Jogger just moved up a few more notches in my book.

Incident #2
Thursday, after work.
Laura and Oscar's evening walk.
Oscar and I have been having great moments on our walks for the past number of weeks.  This week alone we have walking up and back North Ave. multiple times while people are busy coming in and out of shops, restaurants and gas stations.  We don't stop to chat with anyone but keep going...together (Oscar likes to keep things moving - both himself and other people/dogs around us).  On Thursday evening, I decided to walk us down North Avenue a few blocks, then take a turn and walk through the neighborhood a bit.  We were walking along very well, then all of a sudden a kid (probably about 8-10 y/o) came around the corner of a house riding his bike and just stopped at the corner on the sidewalk.  He was about 15 feet away from Oscar who hadn't noticed him because his was busy sniffing a huge tree trunk.  I kept my cool and just let Oscar continue sniffing.  I had my treats ready at the hip to reward him for good decision making when he would, inevitably, get stared at by the kid.  Well, guess what?  That didn't happen.  The kid looked over at us briefly and smiled at Oscar and me then, turned his head and body away from us and continued to wait at the corner.  I gave Oscar a very nice, calm "good job buddy" as I slipped him a treat, then we walked right past the kid who still continued to wait.  As we crossed the street, I looked around to see who or what he was waiting for and saw his father and their gorgeous St. Bernard (whom I see weekly) coming down the sidewalk about 1/2 block back.  Knowing the father a little bit, I know he has taught his child to respect dogs and greet them properly, if at all.  It was a great feeling I had and as I continued to cross the road, I looked back to the father and their dog and smiled and did a little wave.

These beautiful moments...these positive encounters of the same kind...make me hopeful that the change in tide is happening.  People are becoming more educated and receptive to the power of positive training and aren't afraid to do it in public, no matter what time it is.

Because She's Worth It

That's one happy Fanny!
She's glad to be home!

What a difference one week can make.  As most of you know, it's been just over a week since Aaron and I were able to bring Fanny home from her 48+ hour stint at the emergency vet.  During those hours, there was a no shortage of tears.  Knowing that we only had so much money to spend on Fanny's care in what could have been her last days on this side of the bridge, Aaron and I had the discussion we were not prepared to have.  Sure we had talked about what to do if and when we were the ones that needed to help Fanny cross that dreaded, but inevitable rainbow bridge.  We knew we would not keep her alive just to please ourselves.  We knew that when it was time Fanny would, in fact, tell us.  And when it was time to cross that bridge, we knew we wanted to cremate her to continue our physical lives together.

Monday afternoon visit with Fanny.
She looked horrible.

When we went to see Fanny last week Monday, she looked horrible.  She was in a stainless steel, oxygen-assisted kennel.  All sides were metal with the exception of the front doors.  They were solid plastic with two mini-swing open doors just large enough for us to put our hand through and pet her while she was receiving care.  Seeing her in that kennel...with all the tubes, blinking lights, beeping noises...made me realize just how fragile the lives of our dogs really are.  She was laying down in that kennel, sleeping with her back to us as we entered the room.  When we opened the door to gently pet her, her ears moved in recognition.  It took her a moment to get the energy to pick up her head, but when she did, she turned to look at Aaron and I who were holding each other crying.  She struggled to shift her body around in the kennel, but eventually did.  After a brief discussion with the doctor, we asked if we could spend some time with her outside.  Of course, he complied.  Our time outside was precious, but I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was it.  It was Fanny's time.  She could barely hold her eyes open and struggled to walk, but she perked up when the wind blew some of its beautiful aroma in her direction. 

Aaron and I left that evening with the decision to keep her on 24 more hours of supportive care. Tuesday morning's phone call with the doctor was not good.  He said that while she had successfully come out of the oxygen-assisted kennel, her temperature continued to wax and wane and her physical strength had gotten worse since the day before.  We decided to try one more antibiotic to hopefully kill the fever and kept our fingers crossed.  That was the extent of what we could afford and, by the looks of it, it seemed like it was Fanny's time.  

We could not have been more wrong. 

A few hours passed and the phone rang.  I saw it was the doctor and debated on letting the call go to voice mail.  I was in denial and didn't want to hear the dreaded words from the doctor that it would be time to let Fanny go.  With a deep breath, I answered the phone.  As the doctor gave me an update, his voice was chipper and quick to deliver the good news that Fanny was doing much, much better.  She had been up and about and she had regained her strength and her temperature had stabilized some.  As we discussed Fanny's prognosis and potential for leaving the hospital with the doctor, he made it very clear that she wasn't "out of the woods" just yet and we decided to keep her there for a few more hours to see how she was. 

The 3pm visit on Tuesday afternoon.
She flattened her ears when I took
my camera out...I swear!

The 3pm visit on Tuesday afternoon is when we knew she was done with this hospital visit.  She strutted into the room, right over to Aaron and was wagging her tail the whole time.  Her bright eyes were back, her spunk was back...she was giving me handshakes and nose touches...and she ate like a horse.  Another discussion with the doctor later and we decided to keep her for a few more hours and take her off the IV fluids to see how she would do.  If everything went well, she was free to come home.... albeit with some committed at-home care and lots of TLC.  

For the first time in almost 48 hours, Aaron and I were smiling, laughing and relieved.  We knew Fanny was still fragile, but she was clearly telling us it was not her time.  After our visit, we went home to take care of Oscar then waited around for a few hours while it down poured and thunder-stormed like no one's business.   I made the call to the hospital at 9:15pm that night and got the go-ahead to bring our beloved Fanny home.  

Every tear and hug, every sleepless hour, every call, text and email from our friends was heard and Fanny continues to heal each and every day.  We are taking things slow with her physical expenditure and sparing no expense with her recovery (well, within limits, of course).  Aaron and I are enjoying our "shower time" with Fanny and make sure to give her an extra special treat after we do our coupage (percussion therapy).  We take her out for short, sniffy walks and let her dictate the pace.  We even made the decision to have Monica Segal formulate a special diet just for my precious, senior girl (thank you, Monica!).  Sure, all of this "stuff" costs money, but you know what?  She's worth it.

"I'll make you laugh"

It was a rather warm, humid day in the metro Milwaukee area yesterday and I found myself alone after work having to take care of the dogs because my hubby was staying late at work for an event.  No big deal since I just got home from being away for 3 days/2 nights for a work trip.  I was actually looking forward to b-lining it home from work to see my white fur babies.

Once home, I changed my clothes, rolled up my pants and went out to the backyard to toss the frisbee for Oscar a few times and let Ms. Fanny do her sniffing.  Fanny did her nose scavenging and found perfect pee-pee spot and then went and laid on the driveway...tongue hanging out just from her olfactory exercise.  Oscar quickly did his business knowing that the quicker he does it, the quicker I will go with him to get his beloved flying disc.  I do love that about him.

After about 10 minutes of frisbee tossing I strolled over to Oscar's favorite reward ever - The Hose.  He was extraordinarily happy to see the turn of the spigot last night because it was warm and humid.  His tongue was down to his chest, giving me the most beautiful, happy smiling face as he ran over to the hose with me.  He loves that damn thing.  I don't know what had gotten in to him yesterday, but he was like Tigger...bouncing up off all four feet into the air to gobble down the jet stream of clear, cold water.  Beautiful and fluid in his movement.  Efficient and precise in his water chomping.  Every time I turn on the water flow, I know we are in for a good time together...and boy-oh-boy does he make me laugh.

Bust out the Kleenex...

Those who know me, who really know me, understand that it is a rarity to hear about, let alone see, me crying.  The two words "emotion" and "Laura" just don't go together.  I proudly grew up as a tomboy, playing with dirt and stones, G.I. Joe's and Legos, burning insects with a magnifying glass.  Christ, I remember getting several Barbie dolls and, without hesitation, cutting their hair straight down to the scalp.  Someone got me a Barbie car for my birthday went I was about 9 years old and I proceeded to drive it straight off the top of my mom's car...busting the doors off in the process.

I guess you could say that I'm too proud to let emotions in the form of crying and grievance surface in my daily life.  Ever since I can remember I've been of the "Let's have some fun!" mindset, laughing all along the way trying to see the (cliche) glass half-full.   I like to smile, I like to laugh, I like to get by with the least invasive emotions during my waking hours.

Blame it on hormones, getting wiser, being married, whatever you want, but I think I'm starting to become a softy.  I've cried more in the past couple of months than I have between the ages of 9 and 29 combined.  Some of it has been over human-human relationships, but most of it has been over dog-human relationships.  For the sake of this blog, I will focus on the latter.

Simple thoughts, reflections and contemplative thoughts have given Laura's "Water Works" a run for their money.  The realization and acceptance that Fanny is in her last phase of physical life.  Witnessing the special relationship Fanny and Aaron have...the nightly ritual where Aaron rubs her eyes in the perfect spot, at the perfect pressure for the perfect duration; something she has never enjoyed from me...just him.  The beautiful relationship Fanny and Oscar share; the sincere muzzle kisses and mutual acceptance.  The pure joy a simple Frisbee can bring to Oscar (for hours!).  The amazing perseverance Oscar has had with all his digestive and behavioral challenges.

These dang dogs have respectfully demanded more emotional involvement in me than most of my human friends.  They have given back more than their fair share of unconditional love in return.  Reflecting on relationships, respecting another being (fur or skin), and understanding a true sense of togetherness.  Involvement at this level is what makes life worth living...and it never hurts to have a box of Kleenex as a wing man.

Absolutely Lovely

Hubby, Fanny, Oscar and I just got back from a beautiful exploration journey.  The weather is gorgeous today in Wisconsin.  I mean, c'mon, it's March 10th and it's 60 degrees outside?  Yes, I'll take it, thank you very much.

I was pleasantly surprised when I told my hubby that I was going to take off with Oscar for a little car ride and romp around that he wanted to tag along with Fanny (insert a click and reward for him here!).  So, off we went.  We all packed into my little black station wagon and headed off to a nearby college that has a great, large open area for romping and exploring.

Everything was perfect.  All humans were 100% present in the moment and thoroughly enjoying themselves.  And the dogs, with complete and utter appreciation, joined us on our hour-long adventure.  The sun was shining brightly, the wind was nice and brisk -- to which the dogs' noses went up in peak interest countless times -- there were a scattering of other people and dogs, but not too much that we all had to be concerned about running up on each other.

Oscar behaved perfectly to which I caught myself on numerous occasions smiling from ear-to-ear.  I watched as he eagerly and effortlessly bounded around, directing small invitations of play to Fanny (of course ignored!). We brought his most favorite frisbee along and he gladly ran after it...sometimes he ran right by because of more interesting things, but then would come back and find it, then lop it up and gallop around oh-so-happily.

Fanny was a pure joy to watch.  She is fascinating to watch at her age, as I've blogged about in the past.  She plowed up and down the hills and had her "I'm outside and lovin' it" face on.  She walked slowly and with intention and for the first time in a very long time, did not lose her footing at any time.  After our venture came to an end and it was time to jump up into the car - she cleared it with ease.  I pure sign to my hubby and I that the refreshment of our journey was exactly what she needed.

Moments like this are ones to be cherished.  They are extremely special to me.  Our entire family was out together.  There were times where I wanted to bring out my camera and capture this time, but I consciously stopped myself, wanting to soak in the pure beauty of just being there.  We were with each other with mutual, genuine interest and intent.  We were truly connected.  It was absolutely lovely.

Fanny Pants

My lovely Fanny, at 12-1/2 years of age, in her Christmas gear.

Today I had the pleasure of going home during lunch to take out the furkids.  My husband is usually home during the middle of the day, but today he had a commitment to tend to, so it was my turn to come home and get some fresh air with the puppies.  It has been several weeks since I have had to leave work and it was a nice change.

Per the usual course these days, Fanny had no idea when I got home.  I have made a habit of making louder noises when I get home so that I do not all of a sudden appear and startle her.  Today was no different.  I did my usual routine and she heard something, although she didn't hop off the couch until she saw me appear through the doorway.  Once she did see me, though, her happiness came about and came over wagging.   Shortly thereafter I let Oscar out of his crate and we all headed outside.

As I stood outside today, tossing the frisbee for Mr. Oscar, I paid special attention to my dear, sweet, special Fanny and found myself really connected to her.  I simply watched her move around the backyard, navigating the ground, sniffing for food (rabbit poopies, I'm sure!), and occassionally lifting her head catching an air scent. 

I found myself watching her rear legs a lot.  Fanny has lost a lot of muscle mass in her rear end and legs the past couple of months.  It truly was amazing watching her balance her weight over her back half...she put both rear feet, one in front of the other, directly underneath the middle portion of her back end.  Ever so slighty, she swayed a little bit to each side and then took a step or two and repeated this routine.  It was completely fascinating. 

When I touched her, I noticed every single one of her vertebrae and her hip bones with hardly any muscle covering them.  Instead of being disgusted, though, I felt truly connected to her and her aging process.  I know her time is coming to an end soon...and the day she crosses that rainbow bridge is coming closer than we all want it to be, but she is one dignified, graceful lady.  It is amazing to watch her navigate around her environment, being totally commited to each step with a complete understanding of what she needs to do to move from point A to point B. 

Our morning walks together have turned into complete awareness journies.  I let her sniff all she wants.  I let her go wherever she wants.  I let her pee on every tree.  I know this is what make her happy and I don't want to take that away from her in her remaining life on this earth.  

Moments of Maturity

Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed Oscar has started to be better at settling down in the house.  He still has his moments of craziness where he hauls ass around the house with a tuggy toy in his mouth, but he is learning to actually lay down at my side as his food is marinating (as the digestive enzymes are doing their thang).  More and more at night he puts himself to bed in his crate, which is always available to him with the door open, and it truly is great to own a dog that does, indeed, enjoy his crate.  Fanny never liked having a crate and only goes in Oscar's if it's thundering outside.

I enjoy these glimpses of maturity from my dear boy.  Perhaps it is a sign that his brain is starting to slow down and process information better and, as many of us know, if you change behaviors - emotions will soon follow.  I don't know if these moments of maturity (settling) are the effect of the fluoxetine or not, but I'm sure the medication has helped him and will continue to do so.

Speaking of which, the past week or so when Oscar has run and jumped on the fence to see the neighbor dog, there has been no barking/jump lunging.  Sure, he's run over at full speed and jumped up on the fence, but that used to be followed with this weird bunny hop and high-pitched bark bark from him.  Not lately and that's a good thing. 

The emotional rollercoaster that Oscar has is quite the ride to sit through.  He has moments of pure and utter brilliance and he has moments of complete butthead behavior.  That said, I see the scale started to become unbalanced in favor of the former.

10 Things

Oscar and his Babble Ball...

This evening after I arrived home from work, I immediately got a sense of calm and happiness as I opened the door to go into the house.  What gave me that feeling is simple.  My dogs (and with all due respect, my husband usually does too, but he wasn't home at the time and this is a dog blog after all).

I realized that a lot of times I focus on things that I want from my dogs to make them better (whatever that means, right?!) and that is just plain old silly.  Dogs are dogs and they are supposed to behave as such.  I am as guilty as the next person for wanting my dogs to be "perfect." 

So, as I enter this post, it's all about 10 things I love and appreciate about my dogs, Ms. Fanny Pants and Mr. Oscar the Grouch, both individually and as a combined canine crew.

Without further adieu.......

1.) They are unconditional with their love.  I have never, ever come home to them and seen them without a wagging tail and utmost joy to see me.
2.) Fanny is an incredibly distinguished, independent woman.  She quietly reminds me that it is A-OK to be a strong soul.
3.) Oscar is a total and sincere goofball and lives life to the fullest...at every moment.  He, too, reminds me that it is necessary to be silly and get silly often.
4.) Both have taught me to live in the moment...or at least try to live in the moment.
5.) Fanny and Oscar have never gotten in a squabble with each other.  They get along fantastically well and I could not ask for anything else between them.
6.) They share the same passion for food that I have.  We all love to eat and that's a goooood thing.
7.) Dogs will be dogs.  Meaning...they will bark, they will chase things, they want to smell  other dogs' excretions (and sometimes lick or roll in them!).
8.) They don't want baths...or their nails trimmed, but God bless them both - they tolerate them.
9.) Oscar has been quite the challenge, but that is exactly why I love him.  I need him to keep me on my toes.
10.) Fanny, too, has been quite the dog, but she is such a sensitive soul that has taught me that with unconditional love and hard work, things can and will change.

I love you my two white fluffies...this one's for you.

Reactivity: Part 3; Shut up and listen

So much of our dog's behavior on-leash is dependent on our own behavior.  It's no news that dogs tend to act "better" off-leash than they do on-leash.  Is it really surpising, when you think about it?  Dogs weren't born to be on leashes...that was an idea by a human and humans, well, we tend to ruin a lot of stuff.  We get our noses in things and mess up a lot of things. 

One of the turning points my relationship with Fanny was shortly after we moved into our house.  We were taking a nice, leisurely walk around the neighborhood when I suddenly heard a lady yelling at her dogs to come back.  I started to scan around the area we were walking just hoping to God that we wouldn't run into these dogs.  Fanny didn't exactly have the best track record with meeting dogs on-leash.  She had gotten into scuffles and always came out with the one needing stitches...the top of the head, the space between her eyes, and one time right under her eye that I thought we would have to have surgery.  Luckily that didn't happen.  Anyway, back to the excitement...

Much to my displeasure, here come these two dogs running full speed towards us.  One was a golden retriever, one was a medium-sized mix (I would say a pointer/lab/dalmation mix).  My typical response to situations like this would have been to 1.) try and turn around and go the other direction or 2.) if it was too late to turn around, I would pick Fanny up by the collar and hold her head high enough off the ground so she couldn't latch on and bite the other dog.  Since these dogs were too close and I was feeling outnumbered...I had the instinct to do something completely different than I had ever done before.  I dropped the leash and calmly backed myself away and didn't say a single word.  I guess I figured that if she would start some crap with either dog I would blame the owner off in the distance that their dogs ran over to us (crossing the street in the process) and confronted us and my dog was just acting out of defense.

Well...what happened next completely floored me.   Fanny froze, but then started wagging her tail and politely sniffed the other dogs.  "Who stole my dog?" I thought to myself.  After a couple minutes of sniffing, the two dogs took off to go back to their home and Fanny happily trotted along with them.  What this simply because I dropped the leash and let the dogs have their own conversation without me right there attached to them?  Do I get in the way of my dog?  Absolutely. 

As it turns out, Fanny ended up loving the golden retriever, Otis, and we still see him every week (or so) when we walk past his house.  Fanny looks up to us and gives her ever-so-sweet tail wag and starts to whine...and, of course, we cave in an let her go say "hello" to her boyfriend. 

So, what's the point of this post?  Well, it's simple.  We owe it to our dogs to shut up and just let our dogs be dogs.  Let them do their thing and figure things out on their own - on their time - at their comfort level.  I leave you with one, simple suggestion (even to myself).  "Shut up and listen."

Reactivity - Part 2; Sometimes it's just hard

It's hard for me to remember just how far my dear Fanny has come since bringing her home from the humane society almost 8 years ago.  She was a reactive mess.  A lot of her reactivity stemmed from her uncertainty and fear of other dogs, of "scary" new people.  She definitely had the "I'm going to get you before you get me!" mentality that so many dogs exhibit and get punished for.

8 years is a long time for me to go back in time and remember where we started, where we are now and what we did to get where we are.  There is no doubt, she has made tremendous progress.  Thanks to my wonderful husband, I am finding myself reflecting how how much work I (actually, we) put into getting her to where she is today.  It was a lot of work...some days were good, some days were horrible.  With patience, understanding and firm, but fair leadership and lots of hot dogs(!) we made progress. 

Aaron and I are blessed that we have a great group of friends and family who have helped us along the way (a current "thank you" goes out to Kristin the "Chicken Tossin' Lady") by being amazingly understanding and willing to work with us.  You guys make the difference in helping our household move forward.

That said, it is still hard.  There are days were I have seriously thought about giving up the dogs (although I would never do it).  Days where I find myself daydreaming of a white-hair-free house and sleeping in past 7:30am on the weekends.  Days where I go home and almost cry when I see people taking advantage of the fact that they have the "perfect" dog who does not react to anything...they don't know how good they have it.  Days where I ask myself, "Why did you have to get a second dog?  Things were just fine with just Aaron, Laura and Fanny."  (sigh)

I'm sure 8 years from now my relationship with Oscar will sing a different tune.  It will no longer sound like the spaztic - goth punk rock jazz station on the radio.  It will mature into a nicely conducted, classical station that is on in the background on a lovely afternoon.  I am hopeful for the connection with Oscar, I really am.  I know we will get to a better place where he isn't such a butthead, such a complete lizard brain.  I know we will find the perfect harmony that I have seen glimpses of in the past couple months.  He is teaching me as much as I am teaching him...we are in this dance together, but we are just in that awkward, adolescent, stepping-on-each-others-toes phase.  We'll grow out of it, but it will take time, nurturing and patience.

Introductions

This morning's entry is completely dedicated to introducing, to you, my canine crew.

First and foremost my sweet girl, Fanny.  Fanny is currently on her way to her 12th birthday and is doing very well for an old lady.  Her hearing is starting to go, but she still has spunk in her to chase rabbits and squirrels.  Fanny was adopted from the local humane society on December 5, 2002 and lived with my friend for about a year until I moved out of my parent's house and into an apartment with my (now) husband.  She came with some baggage...fear aggressive to men, fear aggressive to other dogs, fearful of thunderstorms...but with continued patience and firm, but fair leadership, Aaron and I turned her into the old sweetheart that she is today. 

LIKES: Hanging out in the shade, napping inside the A/C house, chasing small fuzzy creatures, food, going for car rides.
DISLIKES: The UPS/FedEx delivery trucks and their human counterparts, thunderstorms
NICKNAMES: Fanny Pants, Fanny-bo-Nanny, Fanners, Fan-Fan

Next on the list is Oscar.  Oscar is currently 20 months young and is a freakin' bundle of energy to say the least.  He is the goofball out of the two dogs and is always up for a game of fetch or frisbee.  Oscar was the first puppy I ever had and was brought home on New Year's Eve of 2009.  He had a lot of digestive issues during his first year of life, but he never let that bother his goofy personality.  This is the dog that has gotten me off of my butt and into serious dog training...he doesn't just sit around watching the day go by...he constantly keeps my husband and I on our toes.  It has been a pleasure raising him since he was a pup and appreciating him for having such great drive and passion for life. 

LIKES: Playing with the hose, playing fetch, playing frisbee, just playing in general(!), chasing small fuzzy creatures, sniffing out hidden food
DISLIKES: Anything boring or too low-key, training for too long, strangers coming into his house (we are working on this one!), being left out of the action
NICKNAMES: Os-key, Dum-Dum, Oscar Mayer Weiner, Silly, Stinky