There were times during the weekend that Oscar and I were totally chill, totally connected, having conversations with one another without saying a word. We would look at each other and I could feel our connection. Then there were times when, honestly, I don't know what happened. Oscar would run over to the fence and bark at our neighbor I was having a conversation with after being totally fine with the neighbor just a few minutes prior. It's confusing, frustrating and makes my trust in him fall to pieces. It's incredibly humiliating to both of us having our connection crushed like that.
I understand and appreciate the belief that we get the dog that we need, but being a person who runs on the border between stable and anxious I don't need a dog who errs on the side of reactivity. When I work with clients who have "problem" behaviors in their dogs, I find it quite easy to help them get to a better place. A place of better understanding on both sides of the relationship through mutual participation. With a little education and understanding and some coaching I have seen near miracles happen in these partnerships. I know this takes determination and commitment.
Getting to this level with Oscar is harder than I've ever imagined it to be. I
I am committed to developing this relationship and going with the organic flow of ups and downs. And God bless Oscar; he has been there to at least try everything I have asked of him with minimal fuss, however there are still areas in our relationship that need work. I need him to trust me and I know that part of this equation is me trusting him to do what's right. I will keep learning, but the relationship needs to be a two way street...I need a little bit of reinforcement from him sometimes that I am doing the right thing.
So, here I am getting off my soapbox with just one request...and I hope Oscar's listening..."Can we go about our lives together with a promise to one another that we will be equal and willing participants in our relationship?"